Caring For Your Daughter

Boarding and Pastoral Care

A Philosophy of Care

Benenden prides itself on giving bespoke pastoral care to all students and on supporting their family ties.

Rather than regarding boarding as separating students from their families, we prefer to see it as parents allowing us to share in their daughters’ formative years. Home will always remain the most important place in girls’ lives and their parents the most important people. We work together with parents and keep in regular contact with them to ensure students have the opportunity to flourish.


What is Pastoral Care?

Pastoral care is about looking after pupils so they can lead fulfilling and balanced lives at School and beyond; it is about showing students how to look after themselves and others; it is about encouraging them to seek help or support or advice when they need it and it is about helping them to be ready to become fully fledged adults who are comfortable in their own skins when they leave School. Pastoral care underpins personal development; where there is outstanding pastoral care and students feel they belong and their self-esteem is able to grow because they feel valued.

Pastoral care begins with an underlying ethos of consideration and kindness and is promoted when the staff work collaboratively for the good of the students. If the ethos supports students’ personal and social development and where a culture of encouraging good behaviour and taking on responsibility exists, students can be given the opportunity to develop self-confidence (not arrogance), to learn to keep things in perspective and to be resilient.

Everyone Cares

All staff have a role in supporting students; indeed we share the responsibility for ensuring pupils are safe and that their welfare is promoted. Key figures with specific responsibility for student welfare are the Hms and their House teams of Deputy Hm, matrons, Tutors and domestic staff. Medical staff and teachers play a significant role too, as do many other staff. The students are fortunate to have a dedicated team of supporters looking out for their welfare.

Housemistress talking to two girls

Pastoral Support in House

In Houses, pupils have a team of staff who offer them emotional, academic, social and practical support. Staff set out to develop firm, meaningful, nurturing relationships, beyond the normal realm of adult/student contact seen in many schools. Because the House acts as a second home and the girls spend a great deal of time in it, House staff try to get to know their charges and their families extremely well. When a pupil joins us, we try to understand her background, her behaviour, her abilities – strong and weak – and her potential.

Each pupil is an individual, as well as part of a House. Each needs an individual approach, which can only be developed through open channels of communication and time spent getting to know one another. From the meeting and greeting at drop-off and pick-up times, the regular email and phone conversations between School and home and the informal chats at School events, we aim to establish warm friendly relationships with parents which often help us to understand their daughters and certainly help us to deal more effectively with difficulties when they arise.

Pupils themselves play a vital role in running their Houses, and have every opportunity to develop skills of leadership and a sense of responsibility and sympathy to the needs of others.

Pastoral Support in School

Heads of Years and Tutors, Medical staff and teachers, coaches and escorts, domestic and administration staff, in fact all adults who work at School have their role to play in supporting students. If the adults take a proactive approach to student welfare - helping them to stay safe and healthy, encouraging them to care for one another, showing them how they might contribute to School and the world beyond, teaching them to stand up for what is right and to voice their concerns when things are not - we will have a vibrant and enriching community life, from which we all benefit.

Where to Seek Help

Our aim is that all pupils will have a choice of members of staff to go to when they need advice or guidance. No one should feel completely alone and there are posters on House noticeboards making suggestions where girls might seek help. In addition to staff already mentioned, there are Prefects, other House Officials and Big Sisters too.

The list of Hms, deputies and matron by Houses and with contact numbers can be found on the Parent Portal.